The Internal Bully.

We all have one but what I want to know is how is your relationship with your internal bully?

So if we all laid our cards out on the table and called a spade a spade for the next 5-10mins we can say that hand over heart, we all have an "internal" bully. That voice within us who is telling us and feeding the negative stories for what feels like a repeated 24hr "reel". Yes! Like the one's on Instagram.

These "reels" of ours are constant and persistent. Forever feeding us BS about ourselves and sadly it will 9.9 times out of 10 be negative stories that we end up believing are true. We start to listen to this internal bully because let's be honest it has been there from nearly day 1. We start believing the "stories" that are on repeat in our head, the stories that our "internal bully" is feeding us.

It is so easy to be caught up in these stories and our "voice of reason" never seems to show up whilst we are listening to these stories so of course we are going to believe them but what we humans need to understand is that we are the "thinker" of our thoughts we are not our thoughts themselves. Huh? We are merely the human thinking these things HOWEVER we are not our thoughts. We have to wake up and STAND UP to this internal bully and tell it to FUCK off. These belief systems of ours that are SO ingrained within us that they become our reality need to come to an end or we need to work on quietening the bully.

Stories like;

"I am fat!"

"I am not worthy of love or success"

"I am not smart"

Sounds horrible right but these are the "stories" the "bully" keeps telling us and we end up believing them.

Let's take a step back for a second. If you have children, a friend, a partner or even a client of yours from within your business would you tell them any of these stories? Would you tell someone you LOVE "Hey you're not worthy of finding love?" Oh hell no!! (And if that was a yes please stop reading now and unfollow me on social media because I don't think you'll enjoy any of my content!!) So my question is WHY do we say it to ourselves?

I always say the most IMPORTANT conversation is the one you have with yourself, so make it a positive one. Because if we keep "bullying" ourselves how do we ever expect to succeed? How can we love others if we don't love ourselves? Seriously!! It may sound cliche but please ask yourself that question, WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. Go ahead. How can you practice love when you have zero self love? How can you tell others they are worthy when you don't even believe that you, yourself are worthy?

This "beating" ourselves up over whatever it is that you have been beating yourself up over for the past decade or three is not going to get us anywhere.

What is your BIG, SCARY goal in life? It might be weight loss, it might be having a family, it could be starting your own business. Whatever the fuck it is, aren't you sick of not achieving it because of this "internal dialogue" going on between you and your "bully"?

I certainly am. Yep! I have one too, admittedly I have definitely been working hard to quieten in over the past two years and will forever be working on it and I am ok with that. It's getting quieter and quieter. The more I actively work on silencing it the more self confidence I gain in my life and that I am very proud of.

Do whatever it is you have to do to silence your own internal bully. Journal to become aware of your thoughts and even patterns in your life when the bully is REALLY LOUD. Eat better, move more, positive self talk even if you do think it is a load of hocus-pocus. Trust me it all adds up to something and at the end of the day if we can make this internal bully quieten down then everyone around us and ourselves more so will benefit from it.

Enough is enough.

Coach Belle xx