Sometimes it's not as straightforward as "An old habit" that you can't seem to break free from.
Ok! Hear me out here.
I am sick and tired of hearing motivational speakers, coaches, personal trainers speak so loosely about changing habits. If there is a habit you have been trying to shake for more than a month or so now then it goes a lot deeper than the surface "tag line" that we hear so often, change your habits.
Absolutely there is a time and place for habit changing and building new one's, the book Atomic Habits by John Clear is a great place to start HOWEVER sometimes the issue is a little deeper than simply changing a "bad" habit for a better one.
For example, say someone has eaten dessert for a good 20-30 years and their goal for the new year with their personal trainer is to stop eating dessert. Not so simple. This person has made a sweet meal every night for the past 20-30yrs of their life. Their brain cells are used to doing this action, their taste buds are use to eating this sweet tasting meal after a savoury meal and their body is use to preparing this meal and even buying it from the shops is also apart of the routine. So when you want to break free from this habit/routine, it's not going to be so straight forward as swapping it out for something healthier or for nothing at all and here is why.
While this person may give this routine up after many attempts and has stopped it for a week, there comes a point where your body, brain and taste buds will lead you back to this habit because you don't even know what to do without the entire process of buying, preparing and eating it. Even to the point where you no longer have the cravings, you no longer buy it at the shops anymore but when left alone with your thoughts you actually don't know what to do and the thought of reading a book or doing some foam rolling doesn't even cut it for you. And one night you'll get yourself up off the couch and go and make something sweet or order something from Uber eats or even better drive yourself to the shops and buy something without even meaning too!! Then you wonder how in the hell you got to the confectionary isle in Woolworths after giving this habit the boot seven days ago!? And the vicious cycle begins again.
So this is no longer a matter of habits we are now in the stages of an identity crisis and all of the talk of simply changing habits will only frustrate and disappoint the person trying to make a positive change and will lead them to giving up on the goal at hand and the entire journey of getting healthier. So instead of discouraging people through what seems to be a bit of a "cookie cutter" approach (one size fits all) we need to take a step back and realise that an action that has been carried out everyday of someone's adult life is so much more than a habit, it's apart of their identity and how they function. Stopping this process would be like a 60-70 year old person retiring from the work force. You've got a human that has done nothing but work 5-6 days of the week for the past 50yrs and saying "Ok you no longer go to a job and work 10-12hr days, you don't go and communicate, socialise and check emails like you have been doing for the last 50yrs! Instead you do something completely different".
Retiring from a routine you are so familiar with is tricky. Whether it be work, eating dessert or no longer dating or married to someone you now have to re-programme your entire world to do something else. So naturally this will take time, persistence and patience.
What I am saying here is for those of you who find changing your lifestyle difficult, in order to become a healthier human THAT IS OK! It is a process, one that I promise you will be worth while. There is no short cuts, quick fixes or an easy solution. You will need to put in the work, you may need to outsource your accountability and "motivation" and you will have to find ways to enjoy the repetitiveness of the whole process but the outcome to this is a healthier, happier and a stronger version of yourself than mate what are you waiting for?
You will learn along the way that that dessert we were talking about before actually makes you feel like shit from the intense sugar intake and once again from discomfort comes lessons. Learning what feels good in your body and what makes you feel like shit. What helps with your mental health and what aggravates it. The choices that make you feel happier and the choices that make you reactive, cranky and moody. The process of becoming healthier isn't to get you to a "smaller version" of yourself it is a process of self discovery and self mastery. Understanding YOU more so YOU can decide how much energy you have for the day, the thoughts you think, are they positive or are they negative. Depends on the foods you choose to eat so choose again until those thoughts become better and stronger thoughts.
Everything is a choice. You have to understand that you own your choices so what are you going to choose? And what will make these choices become easier? Trial and error. Through living a little, through mistakes and tough situations. Through choosing the wrong choice you will soon learn what the better choice is. Choose to keep eating that dessert, I don't care! There will come a day where you will choose again. But that day won't come until you experience the wrong choices enough.
From discomfort comes change.
I'll leave you with this question. How do you want to identify yourself? Not how do you identify yourself now. Instead how do you want to be identified, by you? Make a choice on how you want to be identified and than any choice that doesn't help you get. closer to that person, you say NO too and choose again.
Comments